Whether you’re preparing to have a baby, you’ve just delivered, or you’re at home with a newborn, the first question many friends, family and loved ones may ask is “When can I come see the baby?”

For me, this was HUGELY overwhelming. I both wanted to soak up the time as a new mother/new family AND to share my new daughter with everyone, and I felt so conflicted on what that looked like. I often said yes when I meant no, and I felt like it was important for me to look presentable and to entertain visitors, both of which added immensely to my new-mom stress and emotions. Had someone, anyone I trusted (my doula, my husband, my parents) said to me that I could put myself and my baby before others, I maybe would’ve had the foresight to worry less about hurting peoples feelings and more about how I actually felt.