National Infertility Awareness Week - April 19-25, 2020
Hi Friends,
This morning, National Infertility Awareness Week is heavy on my heart.
This movement, founded in 1989 by Resolve: The National Infertility Association has a mission of empowering you and changing the conversation around fertility. This week is dedicated to breaking the stigma around infertility, and to remind others they’re not alone.
Here’s the truth. I’m both a feelings and a numbers person, so I want to share both.
Did you know that….
1 in 8 couples struggle to get pregnant or sustain a pregnancy
1 in 4 pregnancies end in a miscarriage
Approximately 33% of infertility is attributed to the female partner, 33% to the male partner, and 33% is attributed to a combination of problems in both partners, or is unexplained
16 states offer some level of insurance coverage for infertility treatments:
Arkansas, California, Connecticut, Delaware, Hawaii, Illinois, Louisiana, Maryland, Massachusetts, Montana, New Jersey, New York, Ohio, Rhode Island, Texas and West Virginia
The Affordable Care Act (ACA) does not require coverage for infertility treatments.
With statistics like that, you likely know someone who has struggled with infertility or have gone through it yourself.
If you’ve been reading for a bit, you know that I experienced "unexplained infertility” meaning that I wasn’t able to get pregnant naturally, but all of my tests (and my husbands) came back within normal ranges, meaning that there was no definitive object we needed to overcome.
This meant 12 months of trying to conceive on our own, followed by 4 failed IUI’s, an egg retrieval, a failed IVF fresh transfer, genetic testing, and finally, a successful IVF frozen transfer.
It also meant trying desperately to find the type of support that would’ve been helpful to me, and failing, and deciding to become that support for others.
My husband and I made a choice shortly after we first met with our reproductive endocrinologist (RE) to share our story publicly. As mental health advocates and honest speakers about life being heavy and light, we were shocked, saddened and disappointed to learn of the stigma surrounding infertility. When we began posting about our experiences, we both received so many messages of friends and strangers alike indicating that they too had struggled, or were struggling, and hadn’t told anyone, or didn’t know where they could find a community.
Walking through infertility came with grief, pain, worry, sadness, fear, uncertainty and a whole slew of emotions, and it was a challenge to find anyone outside of my marriage who could understand what we were going through.
This picture of my husband and I, it’s monumental. It was the 148th and FINAL injection of fertility treatment for my daughter at 9 weeks pregnant. These injections had been part of our daily schedule, everyday, for so long. They required planning, preparation, caring for my body, maintaining medication, daily monitoring, and so much deep vested emotions. After we took it, we went out for dinner to celebrate. It felt like a whole new chapter of our journey to parenthood was beginning. It also felt disappointing that my friends and family didn’t understand our desire to shout about this milestone from the rooftops.
So, I share this photo for a few reasons:
First, I have been there. I have walked this journey, and I want you to know you are not alone. I’m here to support you, to connect you to community, and to cheer you on in wherever your journey takes you. I know about the small moments, and the big moments, and all of the moments in between. I know about the faith and the fear and every worry and wonder. Please know that my ability to support you has come directly from my own experiences.
Second, my infertility journey and education led me to work as an infertility doula. During this COVID19 pandemic, I feel like it’s especially important that National Infertility Awareness Week get highlighted as the shelter in place has suspended fertility treatments, appointments, cycles and emotions for women and families around the world. This is incredibly stressful, emotional, physically and financially devastating. If you’re in that space, you’re trying to figure out what happens next, know that I’m here, available to help you develop a plan. I see you, and your feelings, and I want to support you - however I can.
Finally, I share this because I had planned to be back in this space again soon. My husband and I were planning for an embryo transfer in mid-May for our second child, and that plan (along with all others) has been paused indefinitely. I am processing, grieving, and planning for the future right alongside all of you.
This year, for National Infertility Awareness Week, I want you to know that you are seen, heard and loved. However you choose to process your news, your situation, your progress is right for you and your family. Please just know I’m here to help.
And, if you’d like to tune in for Q&A and conversations, join myself and Motherfigure on Wednesday, April 22nd at 1pm to discuss Fertility in the times of Covid19
Much love,
Amanda
Resources:
ASRM. Reproductive Facts. www.reproductivefacts.org.
CDC. Reproductive Health. March 30, 2017. www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/infertility
NORD. Women’s Health Resource Center 2017. www.rarediseases.org/organizations/national-womens-health-resource-center
Infertility As A Covered Benefit, William M. Mercer, 1997
Resolve.org, Accessed April 2020
