Find Space for Your Heart Here

In the midst of busy lives, uncertainty & so much more, I hope that this blog will be a soft landing space for you. Find some of my heart, stories, and resources below, and please reach-out to me however I can support you. If there are additional topics you’d like to see on the blog, please feel free to email me!

A Mosaic of Emotions: Music First, Foremost & Always
Infertility Amanda Osowski Infertility Amanda Osowski

A Mosaic of Emotions: Music First, Foremost & Always

Music has been an integral part of my life, of my husband’s life, and of our life together, so it came as no surprise to me when I realized that each part of my journey to motherhood has had some sort of anthem, whether I’ve recognized it at the time or only in hindsight.

There were constantly playlists running in the background of our lives - starting from the early days of trying to conceive at home, in the old-school, “natural” sense. Then, of course, there was the music that comforted us on our early morning drives to the fertility clinic, day after day, month after month, the songs that pumped us up during injection seasons, the lyrics that sat beside us in grief and the ones that we shouted in celebration, once we finally made it into the “safe zone” with my pregnancy in 2018. There was the song that I listened to over and over again when I was in labor, and there were very specifically curated playlists created for my daughter when she was born. 

This most recent season has looked no different for me, or for our family, when it comes to music. I have often been grateful to lyrics that say what I cannot, or express more eloquently what I am feeling, especially in the wake of loss, or grief, trauma or hurt. 

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The Crippling Costs of Infertility
Infertility Amanda Osowski Infertility Amanda Osowski

The Crippling Costs of Infertility

Four years ago, I learned how expensive it was to struggle with Infertility. 

I live in one of the 16 states that offer SOME insurance coverage for Infertility treatment. I should consider myself "blessed"

However, I'm currently ignoring the growing pit in my stomach as I start putting my ducks in a row for our next round of IVF. 

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What Not To Say…
Infertility Amanda Osowski Infertility Amanda Osowski

What Not To Say…

It’s really really difficult to live a normal life alongside one with Infertility. What I mean by that is it’s really hard to pretend that everything is okay when it’s not. That it takes increasing amount of energy to move your thoughts of wanting a baby, TTC, doctors appointments, medications, procedures, cycles, waiting, hope and disappointment to the back of your mind to focus on other things and other people’s stories. That it’s continually challenging to hear about anyone who just got pregnant, is pregnant, or is parenting a baby, while not also being acutely aware of the ache in your heart to be further along in your story. To be honest, I’ve even found that it can feel difficult to celebrate with friends after IVF successes while I’m still reeling from my IVF failure.

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You Will Be Okay
Infertility Amanda Osowski Infertility Amanda Osowski

You Will Be Okay

When the nerves 3dp5dt makes you feel like your heart is going to pound out of your chest, you will be okay.

When you can’t sleep at night, wondering if your embaby is snuggled in tight, you will be okay.

When you convince yourself over and over not to POAS, you will be okay.

When you do finally POAS, in the middle of the night eight hours before your beta, you will be okay.

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Shots shots shots shots shots - [LMFAO]
Infertility, Resources Amanda Osowski Infertility, Resources Amanda Osowski

Shots shots shots shots shots - [LMFAO]

When my daughter and her hopeful siblings are older, I know telling them these stories of their creation will mean so much to them, including the way that our lives changed each time. I know that I’m really proud of and grateful for the ways that we as a family have made room for Infertility, whether or not we thought it was fair or frustrating, and the ways that we fought tooth and nail to get to this moment in time. Building our family is much harder than we ever imagined, but we’re also not people who’ve ever said no to chasing our dreams.

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Being Left Behind or Finding Your Tribe: Infertility in the age of Social Media
Stories, Resources, Infertility Amanda Osowski Stories, Resources, Infertility Amanda Osowski

Being Left Behind or Finding Your Tribe: Infertility in the age of Social Media

Two. Pink. Lines.

I’ve never wanted to see anything more in my life than two pink lines.

Two pink lines would mean that I’d succeeded, that I’d been triumphant, that my body did the thing I so desperately hoped, wished and worked for. Two pink lines would mean that I was pregnant. That my dream of motherhood was on its way to becoming a reality.

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