As an IVF mama, I’ve always looked for things to help me share and explain the way my family was created. My daughter, who is now a toddler, does not yet know how long she was wanted, how much heartache I struggled with before she was created, or any of the challenges I faced that made me wonder if I’d ever be able to become her mother. I recently came across the book I’m Very Ferris, a story for children about the magic of In Vitro Fertilization, and I was instantly enamored. When I reached out to the author, mom, and entrepreneur Tess Kossow as one IVF warrior to another, I wanted to both express my gratitude to her for this book, AND ask if she’d be willing to share her story on my blog. I was ecstatic when she agreed, and I think you’ll be blown away by her powerful story.

“How do we make a family?”

The answer to this question is no longer as cookie cutter as it might have seemed once before.

And yet, there are women and men who dread having to explain the answers.

That’s right…I said answers.

But, then again, why?

My entire life I was taught to believe babies came to us one way. What a disadvantage to me to never have been explained all the ways a baby can enter our arms.

And then to think I would be the one to face the hard cold truth that how I was traditionally taught to conceive was not going to happen for me; you can image how I felt like a fish out of water when I was referred to a fertility specialist for a diagnosis of “infertility.”

I was mentally and physically lost, confused, and even isolated from others, as there must be something wrong with my body and how I lived my life up until trying to have a baby…what could otherwise have been the reason this was happening to me?

Was it too much working out?

Was it too much dieting as a teenager?

Was it that I selfishly waited too long to start a family?

It was none of those things.

And if I had known what I know now, I would have told myself that some people go through infertility due to factors we are born with...elements that are beyond our control.

When conception was not happening “naturally” for my husband and I, we were referred to assisted reproduction and in vitro fertilization was our only option. It will never fade in my mind, sitting in the fertility doctor’s office, staring at images of my internal organs on the computer screen, being told that I had less than 1% chance of conceiving without medical assistance.

What the hell is IVF?

I left the office and Googled it.

I had so many questions and was often flying by the seat of my pants, being told to come in for this blood test, do this injection at this specific time, take this vaginal pill this many times. Literally, I was logging into an online portal and being told daily what I needed to do to prep my body to carry a baby.

And that wasn’t even talking about what I would need to do if/once I had a positive transfer.

Speed things up and after a miscarriage with the first transfer of a positive embryo, I was able to transfer my last frozen-than-unfrozen positive embryo, which resulted in a full term pregnancy and the birth of my rainbow baby boy. And his birth gave me more than a new perspective on life, but a new career.

I got the unstoppable courage to start my own business and become an author, focusing on children’s picture books that tell IVF through the eyes of a child.

I thought about my son, and how his life is so special, has such a dramatic, courageous story about the little-embryo-that-could, and how I did not want him to be overlooked someday when he learns about “how babies come to be.” I want him to raise his hand in class, stand up for himself and all IVF conceived babies, and say, “there is another way, and I am proof.”

Telling the process of IVF to a child is not easy, and as a mother, first and foremost, I understand that. Needles and pills and countless doctors appointments with weird tools that are stuck inside of the female reproductive system is a lot for a two, three, four, or five year old to handle. It’s a lot for many adults, even. It’s overwhelming, it’s scary, and it used to be considered, “grownup talk.”

Hell, I still have some family members that cannot handle me saying the word “uterus” in public.

But change starts with me, and no longer should I, or anyone else experiencing infertility be embarrassed. We did not ask for infertility, and we need to shed light on the topic and talk about it with our littles. Because it is a diagnosis, and it doesn’t go away even when you have a baby.

So, I put pen to paper and created the I’m Very Ferris children’s picture book series. So far, there are two books in the series: I’m Very Ferris, a child’s story about in vitro fertilization and I’m Very Ferris Takes a Bubble Bath. These are picture books about a little boy named Ferris (I V F is in the title), and he tells his special life story with adventures from his point of view. It is simple text, with big, beautiful pictures and enough to give young children a basic understanding of IVF. Whether it is their story, a sibling’s, or extended family or friend’s, these books talk about IVF from the child’s eyes…not talking to them but them talking to you.

Children can handle topics that are tough.

It’s more so how the tough topic is presented, and that’s why I wrote the picture books as if children were talking about IVF to each other because the reality is, they should! This is real life, and it’s not gross or inappropriate. It’s magical if you think about it because for many parents the odds are stacked against us to carry a child, and IVF might have given us the success to have a baby. If that’s not magic and a happy ending, than what is?

If you are going through IVF or have in the past, let the I’m Very Ferris children’s picture book series assist you in educating children to understand and respect this delicate and important topic of how some babies come to be. Remember, you don’t need to get into the fine details for a child to grasp that something from a mom and something from a dad were put together and then back into mom’s tummy to form a baby.

This is a stepping-stone to deeper conversations later in life.

Break the stigma behind tough topics. Be proud of who you are and your fertility journey. IVF is a beautiful and painful process, but the more we talk about it, the more we normalize it.

Your baby’s story deserves to be told. May the I’m Very Ferris children’s picture book series be right there to guide you, with every turn of the page.

Visit www.tesskossow.com and use the coupon code – Freeship – at checkout to receive free shipping on your author signed order.

“How do we make a family?”